aku adalah angin...

old wounds never go away do they? they always leave scars behind. walaupun aku merasakan they are gone, but everytime sebenarnya i touch them, i feel them. they are always there, they have always been there and will always be there. be there to bring back the memories of past pain and hurt. and the worst thing is... it will always hurt.

and these scars of mine, bukan sikit. sangat banyak. i try hard to hide it, and bear it all like a great superwoman. but oh, u can see it? well maybe i'm just not good enough. only God knows how i try looking away from them, i try removing them (it's only makes things worse, dan itulah yang paling menyakitkan sebenarnya,), i try everything just so i dont have to remember what went behind those scars. sumpah aku cuba. tapi tak kira mcmana pun the scars tetap ada di situ. it is there whether i want it to be or not. and there is nothing i can do to erase it. no, i could never wash it all away. well… at least not completely.

agaknya, that's what scars are for; they are there to serve as a reminder of things long past, things that i painfully bled from, things that hurt sooo freaking bad. dan setiap kali melihat someone else hurts the way i did, bleeds in tears and asked why to a Being that gives answers few can understand, the scars are what reminds me of what happens when i was too slow to avoid the bullet, and when i didnt dress the wound in time… it is quick to hurt, slow to heal.

yesss, the scars may eventually heal… faded but never forgotten. it's the way its supposed to be. never to be forgotten.

God have mercy if i ever forgot my scars.

God forgive me if i ever do.